When the moon fell in love with the sun All was golden in the sky

oh my! i seem to have discovered some ancient work of literature... my is it dusty! OH WAIT! silly me, its my blog XD!

SORRY for being practically dead to the blogging world. swim practice takes a lot out of you, and i only have 7 days of practice left until sections, and my school, as usual, just loves to give its student atheletes waaaaay too much homework. unfortunately, i feel so burned out right now, some of my thoughts are along the lines "c'mon... its just a lame ass 50, you can do it! " "just keep swimming... just keep swimming....(a few of these later) JUST KEEP SWIMMING DAMN IT! get your ass moving! you can beat all of those girls. do not, i repeat, do not wimp out!" and my favorite one: "c'mon , i know scripture is more boring than hell, but just stay awake so that mrs ryan doesn't kill you, ok? ok, good!"

yeah, really tired right now, my confrence meet didn't go as well as i had hoped, but again, i'm super burned out, and swimming the 400 freelay is so hard after i have just put everything into my 100 breast stroke. i dont even like doing the 400, but because our team is so small, everyone ends up swimming 4 events(hence our events get maxed out) and we're all so dead. we have the talent, we really do, but all the other schools in our section and confrence have these huge teams, where their girls either do pure relays, or pure individual events, none of this bullshit about doing 1-2 individual events, and 2-3 relays.definately need to get more girls...

but i'm kinda happy. soon it will all be over. then i can sleep again. and not feel rushed when i have to do homework. and guess what? he came to my meet :] it made my day so much better. if he hadn't been there, i probably would still be beating myself up over how shitastic i did. sometimes i dont know if he realizes that him just being there makes the difference between me being able to pull myself out of my shitty moods and go swim my hardest and me not being able to and doing even worse. although i was so mad at myself over how i did in my 100 breaststroke that i wasn't really there mentally for my 400 freelay, and it made a difference, because i did swim like 2 seconds slower than i should have :x my coaches took one look at me and said "you didn't look like you were there during the relay.." me: "yeah.... i tried, but i just couldn't... i left it all in the pool, and i still couldn't..." unfortunately to compound things even more, the second leg flase started by a little bit, and there was no one next to us, so of course the official noticed, and our relay got DQ-ed.... i was pissed... not because the girl false started, but because the official didn't even come and tell us or our coaches that we were DQ-ed for false starting. ah well... i need to stop moping and move on, because....

my friend will probably be home from arizona by halloween! and i'm soooo excited because that means i get her back, and i miss her soooooooooooo insanely much. and and and... having her back means my social life might come back XD.. sadly, this is the person who actually got us all together on a regular basis. and i'll sleep better knowing that she's home, and that she's within a car ride, not like a cross-country plane flight.

ah well, i should leave it there. thanks for sticking around enough to see that i'm not dead yet, the zombies haven't taken over the fortress, or that the closet/ mounds of homework hasn't/ haven't eaten me... YET
bai bai

and the best part about halloween this year- i get to freak every little kid that comes into our yard for candy postitively SHITLESS. bwahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaa..... i shall do a good job...